TMoSI
by Fagor
Summary: The Melancholy of Shinji Ikari
1. Episode 1

Disclaimer: Welcome to Insanity. Please leave all personal memoirs and proof of sanity into the padded room.

The world was resettled with a massive flood. It wasn't global warming, but a meteor that struck the Antarctic pole. Does it mean the whole ozone propaganda was useless, and only a meteor can melt the caps? Or the Earth is just unlucky for such a cataclysm? Mankind hasn't changed much after such a wipe-out. There's still corruption, greed, and a continued resource problem. Except with less people. We're just that stubborn.

Did all that explain why I'm in the middle of an empty street in Tokyo? Probably not, but a little back story doesn't hurt. I'm just a normal 14 year old boy in a white button shirt and black pants, with a photo of a skimpy woman posed in a seductive manner. Don't ask why.

Where is everyone, anyway? For the most populous city in the nation, there sure is a lot of nothing here. Streets are empty, there's no noise, and cars are parked with dust starting to collect.

Is anyone actually here? Somebody alive, preferably? No zombies please.

I felt a slight breeze on my neck. I looked behind me, noticing a girl in some sort of grayish uniform. It was only for a second before a pay phone started ringing. Although I took quick glance to the machine, the girl instantly disappeared without a trace. What did I say about zombies? That applies to ghosts, too!

The phone kept ringing, so out of annoyance I walked over and picked up the receiver. I did wonder who would call a pay phone in the first place.

**Hello? This is…uh, someone. Who's on this line?**

"Shinji, is that you? Great! You're still alive!"

A female voice was on the other line, how does she know my name? Wait, why wouldn't I still be alive?

Suddenly, there were large aircraft hover copters circling around a massive creature. The hunched-back black and gray monster briefly stopped to observe its surroundings, but then continued following the hovercrafts

"Hey, Shinji you there? Hello?

That's great…an alien. Of all the things to threaten my life. Couldn't be an assassin, a hit man, or some sort of motor traffic. It's an alien.

**Yes, I'm still here. Can I ask who is calling?**

"This is Misato Katsuragi! I'm the one that sent you my photo!"

I peeked at the revealing photo in my hand that contained the woman's figure along with bright red lipstick marks. Her long lilac hair and dark eyes would probably intrigue most males. However, my uncle has taught me to stay focus on more important matters. An example of such is that alien I just saw. Why is there an alien here of all places? I hope this Misato person will explain it to me.

Then again, who sends revealing pictures as a reference photo?!

**Hello, Miss Katsuragi. Am I going to get some sort of explanation? Just saw the alien.**

"Ah that. Don't' worry, I'll be there soon. Give me about 4 more seconds."

She must be on a cell phone. I wonder if she uses an armored car to safely take me to my father. After years of dead contact with him, I spent my life in the household with my uncle Kyon. At least until I got a call from father one day about an offer to work under him in the city. I politely declined the offer, satisfied with the life I had now.

Then he mentioned the paycheck of 100,000 yen a month. What's a young man to do? I packed my bags and left for Tokyo, searching for my escort which gave me her very tempting photo. That would be Misato Katsuragi, I have found out. And it's been 4 seconds.

On the 5th second, I heard a loud screech equivalent to that of pulling the fur off a cat down the street. My eyes went wide as I witnessed a blue sports car drifting from the sharp corner of the street and headed right for me. Motor accident, here it comes!

I ended up hearing a series of honks followed by a 'Get in!' shout. My eyes were shut closed at this point.

"Shinji, let's go! The UN forces are about to use an N2 mine on the Angel!"

My eyes opened again. An N2 mine? Isn't that a nuclear explosive? And that huge alien is called an Angel? I see no wings or a halo, and that's definitely not a pretty face that says 'servant of God!'

**All right, where to then?**

I put my bag in the back seat of the car, and strapped myself in. We went a distance away from the city, somewhere around a desert area. Yeah, there are lots of deserts nowadays in this world.

"Duck!"

She covered my head just as the far hovercrafts dropped a small container on the Angel's head. A massive explosion followed suite, rumbling the ground and shaking the foundation of the buildings around us. I have to wonder that if she knew a nuclear device was going to be used, a sports car probably wasn't the best choice.

"You all right, Shinji?"

Oh sure. I'm perfectly fine. Surviving a nuclear blast that impacted on a giant alien after almost getting struck down by an insane lingerie model. This happens everyday back in my town.

**What is an Angel anyway?**

"Just your everyday Earth invaders to threaten humanity."

She started up the car again (after 'borrowing' some batteries) and drove straight past the smoking pillar that the alien once stood in. The wind blew the cover away, showing that the Angel was still intact with little harm. A flash of an orange barrier elapsed around it as the UN crafts retreated.

Uh, Misato. Where are we going?

"Just great, I only had 33 more payments to go on the car…and the repair costs. My only good clothes are ruined, too."

Uh, Misato?

"Eh, what?"

Is it okay that you stole those packs of batteries?

"Ah, it's okay, no problem. It's an emergency. We can't do anything if the car doesn't run. In addition, even if I don't look like it, I'm an international officer. So it's okay."

And what deranged drunk hired you as an international officer?

**That doesn't seem like a very good excuse.**

"Boring boy! You look so calm, despite your pretty face."

It's just a personal belief that one of us should be the designated sane person. I'm sorry if my morals in thievery clash with yours.

"Hmm, are you angry?"

I gave a look of distrust.

"Sorry, sorry, It's natural because you're a boy."

**What are you, 9? Please act your age already!**

I should've shut my mouth. She swerved the car side to side across the tunnel path, succeeding in making me extremely dizzy. Her small revenge stopped when we arrived at a gateway with the letters NERV covered by crimson half-leaf. The doorway opened, we entered, and closed behind us. It was some sort of car elevator to lead us to this organization's headquarters.

**So what is this NERV place?**

"It's a special organization directly attached to the United Nations."

**And my father runs this big place, right?**

"Well, yeah…do you know what he does?"

**Something about protecting the human race. My uncle told me that much. Are we going to my father's location?**

"Well yeah…we are."

She closed her cell phone, and stared at the passing levels of metal and ground the elevator passed us through. NERV has a lot of free time to dig up this much dirt.

"By the way, were you given an I.D. by your father?"

**Hmm? Oh yeah, I got it.**

I searched through my bag for my I.D. along with a scratched out map. She took the map and handed me a NERV manual. Her instructions were to read this book in preparation for NERV.

"Do you know…anything about your father?"

**Can't say I do. He never writes me, unless he wants me to do something. His nomination for 'Father of the Year' has been absent these past few years.**

"I see. You consider him a tough customer. I feel the same."

Then the last of the metals passed us and an upside down city was revealed. These were one of those Geo-Fronts that are used as some sort of bomb-shelter city in case of catastrophic emergency. A glistening orange sea greeted us.

"That's right, This is NERV's secret headquarters. It's also the foundation for rebuilding the world for the human race."

The city seemed beautiful as the constellation of Ursa Major. Our platform zipped through the unique structures to another underground level of this complex. With a quick vacuum seal noise, our ride stopped. I followed Misato out of the car to a walking floor. She activated the contraption and we started moving through the various paths and routes of NERV headquarters.

"That's strange. I'm sure this was the right way…."

Please don't tell me we're lost. Don't you work here?

"I'd rather not wear a skirt in this place!"

I highly doubt people will take an up-skirt peek during an Angel attack.

"Anyway, where has Ritsuko gone? Sorry, but I'm not familiar with this place. But it'll be okay! All systems exist to be used."

That attitude is begging for us to get even more lost. We just past this place a while ago!

-20 Minutes Later-

The numbers on the elevator clicked down like a countdown to some doom. A high-pitch ring and the doors opened, with a blonde bonneted woman waiting for us. She was wearing a blue one-piece bathing suit with a lab coat over it. Is anyone sane here? Honestly? Misato had a shocking expression to her appearance.

"Uh, hey! Ritsuko…I…hey!"

"What are you doing, Captain Katsuragi? We're short of hands and time!"

Misato apologized immediately, although I felt little regret from the tone. This Ritsuko person sighed deeply, and then took a look at me.

"Is he the one?"

"Yes, according to Marduk's report, he's the 'Third Child.'"

Third Child? Does that mean two other people are already getting that 100,000 yen?

"Nice to meet you."

**Ah, yeah. Same to you.**

"He's very much like his father…neither one is lovable."

I'll remember to add that to my huggy bear card, Misato.

We continued on to yet another platform. If NERV was NERP, then it would be called the Never-Ending Routes of Platforms. The announcements of "All hands to battle stations" kept repeating over as we made our way to…I don't know.

"Here that? That's serious. By the way, how is Unit 1?"

"It's configured with Type-B equipment. It's being cooled."

"Does it really work? I heard that it hasn't worked yet."

"The possibility of it working is 0.000000001 percent. 09-system seems like a good name for it."

"You mean it won't work, don't you?"

"How rude! It isn't zero!"

My understanding of the subject you're on is. After the platform, we went on a speedboat for a change. The liquid we floated on was a strange shade of red, almost like blood. We climbed up the stairs and arrived in a pitch-black room. My mention of this instantly turned on the lights and a giant head was my first sights.

A giant robot. Of course…what else could defeat an alien…er, Angel? I checked the manual for a clue on this detail. A secret organization would surely mention this little information in their brochure.

"You won't find this in the manual. This is humanity's multi-purpose humanoid fighting machine, Evangelion. This is Unit 1. It was built in secrecy. This is mankind's last chance."

So my father spent all these years making a giant robot? Well if he said that, it would've been easier to forgive him.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?"

I looked up and saw a hanged control room. In the middle of the window was my father…Gendo Ikari. He smirked for some reason just then.

"Move out."

Misato questioned this. I would, too if I knew what was going on.

"Move out?! Unit 0 is frozen. Wait a minute…you don't mean that you're activating Unit 1?"

"We have no choice."

"Hey, Ritsuko! We can't have Rei pilot it! We have no pilots!"

Who is Ray? Is he another Child like me? Hey, I have a bad feeling about this.

"One has just arrived."

"Are you serious?"

Ritsuko glanced at me with a serious look. Please be wrong, bad feeling, Please be wrong.

"Shinji Ikari…you will pilot it."

Son of a- why is my bad feeling always right?

"But it took Rei Ayanami seven months to synchronize with Eva! He just arrived. It's impossible!"

"We just him to want to take a seat. We don't expect him to do any more than that. At present, intercepting the Angel's attack is our top priority. Even if there is little potential of synchronizing with Eva. We have no choice. Do you understand, Captain Katsuragi?"

Misato didn't answer, but she had the look of reluctant understanding. Yeah, I'm not going to be a pilot without a few more questions answered.

**Father, is this the 100,000 yen job?**

"You are correct on your assumption."

**Does that mean I have to pilot this robot and fight against that…Angel?**

"Of course."

**What are you, insane? I had an easy going life in the town and you suddenly brought me here! I'm not exactly a destined pilot here or anything!**

"I only called you because I need you now."

**Jeez, this is annoying. Why me?**

"Because others can't."

**I can't pilot robots. I've never seen nor heard of such things until now. How am I going to use this?**

"Listen to her explanation."

**Uh, no. If I'm the Third Child, then get the Second Child in here and make him face the Angel. I'm out.**

"If you're getting in, stop wasting time. Otherwise, go home!"

Right before I could curse his being, a large shake-up occurred around the hanger bay. Ritsuko calmly asked me again.

"Shinji, there's no time."

I looked at Misato for support.

"Please get in."

Great…I'm surrounded. After the dozen platforms, I'm suddenly forced to risk my life against an Angel I never heard of and a father whom I haven't seen years tells me I have to.

"Shinji…why did you come here? Don't run away from your father, or above that, from yourself."

I'm not running from him. I'm running away from the giant Angel that can survive nuclear attacks! How do I kill such a thing?!

"Fuyutski. Bring out Rei."

Ray…is he another Child? I wonder what he has to prevent him from piloting the robot. Ritsuko called out to the engineers around us.

"Reconfigure Unit 1's systems for Rei! Restart!"

Well, that wasn't too bad. It was just a bluff my father made. There is another pilot available, and I'm free from the hassle. I just have to wait for Rei and thank him for tagging in the job.

Then the medic team brought in a same girl I saw, wrapped in bandages all over with an IV on her arm. That is a good reason not to pilot. Damn it. She was gasping for breath as she got up, her pale skin and blue hair shivering from exhaustion.

Another explosion shook up the hanger, this time large enough to dismantle the lights above. Specifically one was heading right for me! I braced for impact, ignoring the shouting I heard for the death to come.

Apparently it's good luck to shut my eyes before aspiring death.

"Impossible! The entry plug hasn't even been inserted yet! It can't move!"

I peeked through my arms to see a giant purple hand hovering over me. I looked behind me and saw the robot in the exact same pose I was in right now. All right, maybe there are some spooky stuff going on.

Oh right, Rei! I glanced on my left and sprinted towards her lying body. She fell off the bed, her IV detached and dripping on the floor. I held her struggling body up as she gritted her teeth in pain. I looked behind and saw the robot's dark sockets glow yellow now. Then my hand started to feel wet and sticky. I raised my right hand and saw large blood spots. Damn it, she's losing blood fast!

Screw it; my morals as a man outweigh my own life. I'll do it! I'll pilot the Evangelion!


	2. Episode 2

Author's Notes: Hopefully this one will go more smoothly.

All right, maybe I was bit too hasty. If I knew being inserted into the spine of the robot was the process, I would've argued a bit longer. Whatever happened to the torso cockpits on those Gundam shows, or even a head module for Mazinger Z? Instead, I'm inside a very strange large capsule with awkward arm panels, and silly-looking head pieces on me.

Then the announcement came on.

"Inject LCL into entry plug."

LCL? I am hoping that stands for Luscious Cooling Lemons. Sadly, it was that same type of water we traveled on to get here. After an intense session of convincing me to pilot this, they decide to drown me?! NERV has terrible work ethics.

Now I'm holding my breath for dear life. Please tell me it's a joke!

"Don't worry. After your lungs fill with LCL, it'll directly supply you with oxygen." I heard Ritsuko very clearly, surprisingly. "You'll get used to it soon."

I sighed (or whatever sighing is in liquid) heavily.

**Can I know these things in advance? I don't want a exploding toothbrush incident, too.**

**  
**"Live with it! You're a boy, aren't you?!"

Yes, I am a boy who is the last defense for Earth. Am I the only one seeing this problem, Misato?

The power supply was connected to the backside of the robot, resembling an umbilical cord akin to babies. Then the LCL or whatever started to clear up and the entire capsule started to shine brightly. Legions of sparkling stars passed my eyes, as it changed into a cloud of red dust, and finally the main screen came online. From my left to my right, I saw my surrounding area through eyes of this Evangelion.

"Prepare for launch!"

Hasty, aren't we Capitan? I heard the binding locks release from the Evangelion's armor, and I felt a slight push backwards. Then there were series of hatches opening above my head. I looked down and saw I was on a platform. Wait a second, don't tell me I'm going to be catapul-

"LAUNCH!"

**Hold on a mo-MEENT!**

My retaliation went on deaf ears. The G-Force was pulling on my very brain stems to the bottom of my shoe, as my whole body rattled while zipping through the confusing tubes. I was hoping for some sort of stopping point eased into, something I was hoping would be true. A slowing point perhaps?

Of course not. The platform did a sudden stop on the arrival of the surface. I would've probably smacked my head on the capsule ceiling were it not for this tightly secured strap. Great…now I got seatbelt bruises. And oh look! The Angel isn't happy to see me. I wonder why not…I would be happy to know his only possible demise is at the chance of a young boy that was just shoved into this contraption.

Ritsuko started speaking on the control communicator.

"Shinji, think only of walking now."

Okay, walking. I can manage that. Do I get to learn any finishing moves or is this Angel a marathon I can last for the next 3 hours? Let's see…I have no idea how to move this damn thing, let alone do movement to damage this Angel.

Then it started to move. One foot in front of the other. I guess it mimics my more focused thoughts into commands. Maybe these clip thingies have a purpose after all.

As soon I thought that, the Evangelion's legs wobbled and it fell on its face. I'm an _excellent_ robot pilot…as in the only.

"Shinji, come on! Hurry, stand up quickly!"

Stop telling me what I know, Misato! I am perfectly able to calmly navigate the situation- and that Angel's really close now! It lifted the head with one arm, and started to pull apart the left arm from the socket. My left arm also started bursting veins, along with intense pain. What the hell?! Why am I feeling the pain also? I'm just the pilot!

"Shinji, calm down! It's not your arm!"

**Really?! It sure _feels_ like my arm! God dammit, why does it hurt so much?!**

I heard a snap. The wrist broke. My wrist broke. I'm in delusion of pain. The last thing I saw was the Angel's palm radiating with a red shine. Blackness clouded my eyes, and I felt death's embrace…

…It felt like my mother.

-Days later-

I gasped out of desperation, and awoke in a bright room. My body was covered with sweat, but my clothes were replaced by the sight of drab hospital wear. I turned my head and saw the bareness of the room, so I decided to rest my head and stare. Stare at the unfamiliar ceiling. Where am I? Was it all a feverish dream?

-later in the day-

The hospital was very empty. There were no nurses or doctors around. I walked along the terribly silent hallways, tapping the window along my way. Suddenly, I heard the first noise since my awakening. A nurse rolled by a bed, carrying that blue-haired girl that was once bleeding heavily on that bridge.

What was her name? Rei…something. So it wasn't a dream. She still had that patch on her eye and around her forehead. She looked me on a glance and met my eyes. She had a look that said, "Accept the truth. This is your duty from now on."

…Like eyes can say that much. I need more rest.

-later in the day-

Misato picked me up from the hospital. She caught me staring at my arm, trying to forget the pain and sound of my bones shattering from that Angel. I'm taking a guess that I beat that monster somehow, but memories are beyond me of the event. Otherwise, there would be panic and chaos about how the Angel is still rampaging on about.

Or people in Tokyo are really mellow.

After more platforms and elevators (my archenemies), we met up with my father in yet another dark room. The floor was a live screen shot of the top of a Geo-Front, giving me a slight feeling of falling into.

Currently, my father is talking about my living arrangements here.

"Yes, his room is located in Block 6, over there. Any problems?"

**No, of course not. **Block 6 better be nice.

"Are you satisfied with it, Shinji?" Misato asked.

**I prefer being alone. All places are the same to me. **Plus I get free reign on my rightfully owned paycheck for saving the world. Now that I think about it, shouldn't I get more for saving the blasted world?

-Hallway, some time later-

"As I said, I've decided to take charge of Shinji. I've got my superior's approval."

If you haven't figured it out yet, Misato is once again lying to Ritsuko. Specifically about my new living arrangements…which are new again. Maybe this way, I won't have to pay rent on this Block 6 place.

"Don't worry. I won't have an affair with a child."

Like I'll take your offer! What kind of joke is that? I'm sure Ritsuko had a similar reaction, proved by Misato quickly clamping the receiver down on the pay phone after some clamoring.

-Later in the car-

"Well, tonight we're going to do it flamboyantly, aren't we?"

I looked at her suspiciously. **What do you mean?**

"It's a welcome party for a new lodger, of course!"

What did that mean? Lots of shopping for canned food items, half-priced peas, and a TV dinner package at some local grocery store. This seemed a lot of stuff just for a 'flamboyant welcoming.'

We hopped back into the car and continued the Journey of a Thousand Junk Foods. I ended up carrying bags of beer cans, beef jerky, and corn chips. Exactly who else is living in your place?!

"Well, we're stopping some place on the way."

Pleas don't tell me it's another 24/7 store. **Where are we going?**

"It…is…a…good…place." She said with a cheerful smile.

I…am…starting…to…loathe…you.

She took me to the top of a cliff, overseeing the city of Tokyo. The sun was setting under the horizon, while Misato kept staring at her watch for some reason.

**This is a lonesome city, isn't it? **I babbled off.

"It's time."

What it was, it gave me a infinitely more motivation. The plain, barren city suddenly rose up from the ground, lifting up buildings hidden under the Geo-Front I saw before the battle. Skyscrapers reaching for the atmosphere, as if the buildings themselves were growing.

"This is the fortress city for intercepting the Angels. "Tokyo-3"…Our hometown." She looked at me with hopeful eyes. "…and the city which you protected."

-It's nighttime by now-

After the uprising and return of Tokyo-3, Misato finally took me to her apartment complex. I still ended up carrying the items, though. Share the goods, you!

"I think your things have arrived. Actually, I also just recently moved to this town."

She tells me this as the door opened up. I was wondering why there were so many unopened boxes lying around.

"Hey, you coming in?"

Will a small step kill me instantly, or slowly? **All right, I'm coming.**

"Shinji, this is your house. Welcome home!"

The welcoming ended up being a clean-up duo, unpacking her items and mine. The place itself had a cozy feeling, but her methods of responsibility are one left desired.

"Well, the place is still a bit untidy…hope you don't mind."

I don't mind if I did all the cleaning. I do however mind you drinking 5 cans of beer and a bottle of scotch, then leaving the remains on the kitchen table. I backed away from the inhuman being that downed enough alcohol to knock out a heavyweight, only to walk into more bottles of content. On my left were piles of garbage bags mixed with chip wastes. On my right were spoiled food and more unopened boxes. I'm starting to see why she wanted me as a roommate so much.

"Oh, sorry. Could you put the food in the refrigerator? I'm going to take a bath now."

**Fine…**

I grudgingly did what she asked and then some, giving back some sanitation to this apartment room. The ice was put in the freezer, the relish in the cabinets, and…an entire case worth of Yebisu Beer?! What kind of life does she lead?

Just then, there was a little scratching noise. It came from under the boxes of books. I asked Misato what that could be.

"Ah, that. It's probably just sleeping."

Exactly what is sleeping in here, anyway? Whatever, I still have to make dinner. Why am I making dinner again?

-10 minute later-

"Thank you for the food!"

Misato chugged down that Yebisu beer faster than I could touch my chopsticks, then yelled an obscene war cry of victory over her empty can.

"Oh, my! What a life! I just live for such times!" She recomposed herself. "Ah, don't like them? They're rather tasty, even though they're instant."

If you're talking about the food, then I just lost my appetite after that spectacle. **No…I'm just not used to such a meal. **Good excuse.

"No, don't be fussy!" Added with a slam of a new can, she hovered her body over mine as I sank into my chair.

Bad excuse. **Ah…no. I didn't mean that.**

Then she completely changed her attitude.

"Don't you think it's nice…having a meal with others?"

Will a nice answer save my life? **Yeah….**

**-**5 Minutes later-

"Rock-paper-scissors!"

Rock, then rock, then rock, then scissors to her rock. Again.

"You were unlucky, Shinji."

In case you're wondering, we were playing the hand game to decide our fates in chores for the next month. In some mysterious luck, I've won all but 5 times. There is suspicious work going on here. The statistical logics are collapsing on this phenomenon as we speak.

"As for the everyday duties which we've fairly decided, everything is A-OK."

**Yeah.** Cheating woman!

"Well, because this is now your house, you can really feel at home here."

**Uh…yeah.** Just like a live-in maid.

"Hey 'Yes, yeah, sure, okay'…how gloomy! You're a boy, aren't you? Pull yourself together!"

Grabbing my head does not help the process! **Ow ow, let go!**

She sighed. "It's okay. Take a bath and wash all the unpleasant things away. Taking a bath is life washing."

So water is your weakness, eh Wicked Witch?

-Some time later-

I entered the lair of bras, also known as the bathroom. Don't believe me? There's bras hanging on indoor laundry strings, lights, and fan hangers. Does 'decency' not ring a single note in her melody of discord?

That was before I opened a door…and saw a penguin.

I ran out faster than lightning, and probably some hell cats, too.

**Misato! Th..the…ther…there's a-**

The penguin wobbled away from the scene, like an everyday occurrence.

"Oh, him? A new kind of hot spring penguin."

Hot spring penguin? Aren't they supposed to like the cold? Well as soon as I asked that, the bird used its claw to open that big metal box. Apparently it's a huge ice-box home for this fellow.

**Why is there a-**

"His name's Penpen. He's another lodger."

Are you comparing me to a penguin?

"By the way, you'd better cover up the front."

The advice didn't make sense for another 2 seconds. Then I looked down and saw the bareness of truth staring at me. A quick retreat was in order.

-Bathroom-

I relaxed in the tub, loosening up all the stress I accumulated throughout the long day. As my head rested on the bath edge, I thought over the many events that occurred.

Misato Katsuragi…she isn't a bad person. A little on the insane, somehow-always-sober side, but nonetheless, a nice person. However, being in the bath reminds more unpleasant things to my mind. My father…Rei…the Evangelion…

The Evangelion…I'm starting to remember now. It was after the battle that I awoke again. My body was frozen from a combination of fear and pain, when NERV tried to get me out of the broken robot's body. It took a long time, but I was finally free of the LCL smell that strongly resembled blood. I sat in the seats that viewed the operation of the Evangelion's body retrieval. I simply stared at the gray head for a moment, when a slit opened up and became a green eye staring back at me. I screamed. Nothing more.

Past the bath and wearing my pajamas, I slept in my designated room with the futon waiting for me. I let sleep come to me and tried to rest myself into temporal bliss of my dreams. Then my door was knocked.

"Shinji, may I open the door?"

She let herself in. My body had the look of sleep, but I could still hear her voice.

"You did a praiseworthy thing today. You should be proud of yourself…Good night, Shinji. Hang in there."

Before she left the room, I swiped my blanket off and collided into her body of warm embrace. No matter how mature I feel compared to her, I still can't face all this alone.

**Thanks a lot…Misato. Thank you for everything.**

She patted my head and rubbed my back, like a gentle mother. "Don't worry about it…I'm always here for you."

**I know…it's just good to hear it in person.**

"Hmm…Shinji?"

**Yes?**

"Can you please get off my chest? I'm in a towel, you know."

Duly noted.


	3. Episode 3

For the next few days, I've quickly adapted into my new routine. Each day I would wake up, wash up myself, avoid Misato's food, avoid Penpen, and go off to work at NERV. Ah yes, about Misato's cooking. It doesn't exist. Or should I say, her food are always decomposing before the fork hits it. I decided that waking up to the smell of smoke and a woman's cry for help isn't healthy, explaining my duty to volunteer as the household cook. At least my skills are comparable to a veteran mother feeding her children as they hop to school. That's if my children would ever chug beer along with pancakes.

Unlike most men who would swallow their pride and eat a woman's cooking, I'd prefer not to swallow food that looks much better after digestion. There is pride, and there is survival. Keeping one's pride even in death seems foolhardy, and insane to even consider her selection of recipes.

So one day while eating breakfast, Misato decided to mention that I was enrolled in the nearest Tokyo Junior High School. And here I was thinking that I could've avoided the complications of being in school. Shouldn't I spend more time training with the Evangelion instead of all that time spent in a classroom with knowledge useless once I fail? What will be my excuse? I couldn't save the world because of my late math homework? I'm sure there are worse excuses.

**Exactly why do I need to go again? My education seems small compared to more preparation against Angels.**

"Then exactly what are you going to do once the Angels are defeated? You can't hang around NERV all your life."

**That would be a big bother. I'm not sure why a robot pilot is needed after the purpose is completed.**

"So what do you want to do once it's all over?"

I thought about the question half-heartedly. After all, my future is still far away in terms of my life set in stone. School is a good place to find future connections, friends to pass the time, and an overall rich childhood. Then again, there's also homework….

"Well? Are you going to school or not?"

**All right, then. I'll go to school.**

"Great! I'll drop you off on the way to work."

**Wait a minute. You're driving me? Can't I just walk there? It's not too far off-**

"Nonsense! I can't let you have a boring entrance to school. You got to start off your career with a bang!"

And probably a great explosion, too. I can see the headlines now: Earth Screwed because of Crazy Driver. Beat that, drunk driving.

-7 Minutes later-

"See ya later, Shinji!"

My legs were still shaking as she waved good-bye, and her car backed up from the mangled mess she made. It's one thing to see a car chase on the television, but to experience the very thing with no police to possibly stop it (NERV ranking) is far more dangerous. Those bandits are law-abiding saints compared to her. The Entrance sign was run over after a complete 180 degree stop. When she mentioned a 'bang', I didn't know it meant destroying every single piece of public property within a half-mile radius.

The other students were already looking at me with frightened expressions, asking themselves a possible child of the vehicle demon. I carried my leather bag with fake confidence and walked toward the doors. I hoped this would fool people enough not to ask questions, or ask where I suddenly came from.

When I got to my classroom, my hopes were dashed immediately.

"Hey, it's that new guy! What's with the car, huh?"

"You know, you should tell your mother that was very dangerous. What if you hit a pedestrian?"

What do you think I've been yelling to her for the past 5 minutes? Ugh, never mind. I don't want to relive such an experience unless it involves Angels. No, not even that. Let me fight the Third Angel in a re-match.

I walked past the two classmates and sat near the window from the 4th row. This seems like a good place to nap, while also paying attention once in a while. Even if I have to attend school, that doesn't mean I must learn things here, too. It's a simple social interaction area that I must endure until the next battle.

The classroom slowly filled up the chairs, with little to no open talk about the incident I was involved in unfortunately. Praise my luck. I did however notice one particular student walking to the seat 2 rows in front. The same girl with blue hair to her ears and multitude bandage raps around her head and eyes. Even her right arm was still in a cast.

Rei Ayanami. The First Child of the Evangelion pilot crew. We've never talked before, during, or after work. Maybe this is my chance to better know my fellow comrade.

What a terrible choice I made, and so early in the morning.

**Yo, Ayanami. **

She ignored my calling from behind. I repeated my statement with more voice, but still she relies on deaf ears. I got up from my desk and placed myself to the seat in front, resting my head on the back part of the chair.

**Yo, Ayanami. It's been a while, yes?**

I saw movement. Was it a nod?

No, she simply laid her chain on her good arm and stared out the window. Am I some pesky bug that she simply ignores? Or is there some work-related secrecy that states we can't possibly no each other in public. Whatever it was, she was keeping that policy up with great concentration.

With total defeat on my tally mark, I distressingly returned to my desk and started an early nap before class.

"Hey, new kid."

I rolled my head to the walk-way side, only to meet eyes with a spectacled boy with big dirty-brown hair. He had a camcorder attached to his right hand, suggesting some sort of video club member.

Or a stalker.

**Hi there…and you are?**

He brought himself on like an important royal member.

"My name is Kensuke Aida, military extraordinaire! If you need practice in times of war, then I'm your man! Guns, camping materials, and a little side of canned beans. No one is more knowledgeable in strategy than myself in-yah! Ow ow ow!"

"That's enough, Kensuke. What am I going to do with you?"

Help has unexpectedly arrived to shut this geek, so to speak. My eyes traveled to the shoes of my savior, leading up to a skirt. The speed of observation increased two-fold after seeing the hem, then met eyes with her. She had long dark hair tied in pig-tails, a pretty face with bright eyes, and tiny freckles sprinkled across her cheeks. She was also very angry.

"H-hey, Hikari! Can you let go of my ear? It's starting to burn!"

This Kensuke fellow sure seems like a regular to this girl's punishments. I might want to steer clear of this troublemaker. However, I did learn the girl's name from him. I raised my head and waved slightly to her.

**Hello. Is this the welcoming committee? **

She released the boy from her death-grip. Thank me later.

"Sorry about this guy…he has a very unhealthy habit. My name is Hikari Hokari. I am the class representative and monitor. You just transferred in, right?"

**That's right. My guardian registered me recently. I guess I'm stuck here for now.**

"Don't worry about it. The other students are quite normal and fun. Unlike some people…."

Hikari gave a dark look towards Kensuke, then gave a kind one to me.

"If you need anything, just ask. It's my job."

Maybe school won't be so bad, if girls as nice as her are around. I sat back into my seat, satisfied that my day won't be solely on getting a reaction from Rei.

I sat back to my seat and started my nap again, tired from all the events thus far. The homeroom teacher came in, wheezing and gasping for breath like the end of a sprint. His planner bag dropped with a thud and he checked over an attendance sheet. I don't really care, as long as I get to sleep in this nice spot.

"Now then, please sit according to your assigned seats."

There goes my luck, again.

-Some time later-

I ended up switching my spot with Rei. Maybe she wouldn't talk to me because I stole her spot? No, she can't be that petty.

Moving on, the homeroom teacher decided to start late introductions for the new students. Wait, students? There's someone else besides me? All right, I'm up.

**My name is Shinji Ikari, and I just moved to here. I hope to not be a nuisance here.**

There. Short, concise, and hopefully gets me as much peace as possible.

And yet again, my hopes are dashed in mere seconds.

"Next is…uh, Asuka Langley Soryu?"

What a weird name. Is it European?

"As the nice teacher said, my name is Asuka Soryu. I'm from Germany, and here on some business reasons. I hope we get to be great friends during my stay here. Thank you."

Whoever this girl is, she sounds nice and proper. I looked to my back right and saw the girl from Germany, with long fiery hair, deep blue eyes, and a nice tall figure. Also she's got those same hair bands I use when I pilot the Eva-

Oh my god! She's an Evangelion pilot?!

She noticed my shocked expression and gave that "I'll kill you later" look. What did I do to you?

-Later in Homeroom-

Will I finally get my deserved nap? I think not.

SLAM! My head bounced off my desk after someone basically punched the surface. Annoyed and tired, I faced my assailant and meet justice where it deserves- ah jeez, it's the scary German girl.

**What is it? I was having a nice nap.**

She painfully jabbed her finger on my chest repeatedly with each word.

"Because of your whining ass, I have to be transferred to Japan almost 2 months in advance to cover your ass! Do you know how much of our scheduling was ruined because of you?!"

Who says ass twice in a sentence? **Wait, huh? What did I do to get you here?**

"Think_ hard."_

Now what did I say that would bring another Evangelion pilot here? Maybe this was based on performance. No wait, that can't be. It's only been one battle. Then again, the last one was called the Third Angel. Where were the 2nd and 1st Angel? Did Rei beat them?

**Hold on. What's your title, then?**

With pride and honor, "I'm the Second Child, you idiot!"

-Back in that moment-

**I can't pilot robots. I've never seen nor heard of such things until now. How am I going to use this?**

"Listen to her explanation."

**Uh, no. If I'm the Third Child, then get the Second Child in here and make him face the Angel. I'm out.**

-Present-

**Don't tell me they actually listened to me.**

"They realized that you're a liability and need a more able pilot. Also, I hate you because you thought I was a guy!"

Again with the poking. I'm getting bruises on my chest now.

**Hey, hey! I barely knew anything about NERV. I didn't know they use female pilots, too.**

"'Too? Too'?!" YOU are the exception, not us! What, do you think girls can't pilot robots? Are you that sexist?"

Sexist? Of course not. I'm simply ignorant by years of mass media about robots being piloted by the angst, problematic teenager supported by his sister/girlfriend/mother/whiny side-kick.

Wait, I'm not too angst, am I?

"Hey, Shinji! What's with all the yelling?"

Oh good, Kensuke. Distract her for me, will you?

"Whoah, the new girl _and the_ new guy!" He brought his camera to get both of us in the shot. "Maybe it's a hunch, but is Miss Soryu's business have anything to do with Shinji?"

"Why as a matter of fact, I am, boy."

You led yourself into that.

"Then…are you one of those over-seas brides?"

Homicide in 3...2...1...

"Wha-wha wha…why you! ARG!"

Asuka's face blushed mad red, raised up her sleeves, and grasped her hand squarely around Kensuke's neck. Hikari caught this action and tried to break up the murder attempt, while I used my time wisely to escape the scene of a crime.

The roof was the best idea. I saw some fences above the school, so I fiercely searched through the corridors until one doorway led up. Each step made me nervous, fearing my unusually amplified steps would direct Asuka to my location. When I arrived at the top, the door was already open. Apparently I'm not the only one that wanted escape.

**Hey, is anyone else here?**

There was no one when I peeked through the small crack. There was also no one in front of the doorway. So with great relief, I kicked the door open with sigh.

WHUMP!

What did I do now….

"Mmm."

The noise came from behind the door. Are you serious? Who would be standing right there? 

The answer would be one: Rei Ayanami. Oooh, but she fell backwards. That's not too bad. What am I saying? I should help her.

**Do you need a hand?** I offered help to her, which she accepted. **Sorry about that. I underestimated location on the roof. Are you fine?**

She walked past me and stood before the fencing. I just stood there like a bored fool and waited on any response. This went on for quite a while.

**So uh…how are you doing? It's fine if you don't answer me again.**

"The situation is not according to plan."

That was a concise and specific answer. Wait, no it wasn't. What situation?

**Is something wrong? What's the situation?  
**

"The scenario is accelerated. Each phase of the plan is ahead of schedule."

**Can you at least say whatever confusion you're implanting to my face?**

She complied, as usual. Her obedience is down-right strange and kind of creepy.

"In summary, nothing is going to plan. Improvisation will be applied from hence forth."

NERV had cheat sheets and I didn't get them? I must be extremely lucky or unlucky. Which is it? Let's see, I live with a deranged poison-making, crazy driving, messy, owns-a-penguin roommate, I just met a military geek from the pre-Second Impact era, a killer German girl out to get me, and this other girl telling me I've been the only one playing by the ear.

Definitely unlucky.

**Is there anything else you'd like to tell me? Besides the Angels, robots, and secret organization, do you want to tell me there's aliens, time-travelers, and espiers?**

If I'm going by reputation, then Rei would tell me a blunt answer about something completely different than a reasonable 'no'.

"…I am not completely human."

U-n-l-u-c-k-y.


	4. Episode 4

Let us review a bit on my humble situation. I arrive at this school in a car wreck and instantly catch both the admiration and fear of students. With slight coincidence, I meet Miss Ayanami at school. That led to confrontation with military geek, or more appropriately otaku, Kensuke Aida and the nice class rep Hikari Horaki. Then I clash with the Second Child, Asuka Langley Soryu, demon extraordinaire. I had nothing to do with her arrival. Honestly.

And now Ayanami has told me she's not all human. I am wondering how I missed the signs to such the obvious. The red eyes I thought were some sort of fad contact lens. Pale skin? I got pale skin. I don't know how I missed the blue hair, though. That's definitely not normal.

**So exactly how much of you is human?**

"Classified information."

Well, that's a complete back-slap to whatever logic I figured.

**How is telling me you're not human legal, but the percentage is illegal?**

"Certain NERV members have certain levels of access to information. That is all."

**Really? Then does Misato know about your…type?**

"No."

Blunt, again. Do I have to ask everything to get the little information available? Her mannerisms are consistent, at least.

**Then do I have more access than Misato?**

"No."

**So we have equal or she has greater. How does she not know then?**

Have I found a loophole that will contradict herself? There's little explanation now out of these combinations of questions.

"She never asked me."

Or that works, too. Drats, and I thought I had it too. Out of disappointment, I leaned against the fence with a heavy sigh. I glanced beyond the metal wires and noticed a boy in a track suit coming into the building. A late arrival? I wonder who it is. His slightly spiky black hair and determined face gave a feeling of a jock. I don't know what feeling that is. It's just a 'jocky' feeling. If that makes any sense.

Ayanami continued standing at the same place. Of course, she has much better patience than me. I would probably be jumping around and yelling at myself for asking so many questions. Then again, I would have to suddenly change genders. I hope there's no magical fairy around that heard that thought.

**All right, let's start off the questions. What's your non-human part?**

"Classified information."

**How old are you? Where do you live? What's your birthday?**

"14 years old. Room 402 Tokyo Apartments. Classified information."

Two out of three isn't bad. She doesn't miss a beat, though.

**What are the Angels? Why are they attacking Earth? And why exactly do they only attack after the Second Impact?**

"The Angels are the second seed of Mankind, awoken by the events nearly 15 years ago. Mankind are the first seeds, however only 1 seed can have dominion over the world."

**The events nearly 15 years ago? You mean Second Impact, right?**

It was a simple catastrophe droned over and over by various historians and teachers. A small meteor impacted on the Antarctic, destroying and melting the continent into watery bits. That resulted in the increase of water levels and flooding all over the world. A mass cleansing, as a religious fanatic would comment.

"The Second Impact was created by awakening the first Angel, by another organization."

And there goes anything I knew for sure in this world.

**Wait a second. Second Impact…doesn't exist?**

"Correct. It was a mass media blanket to prevent excessive chaos and panic. Also to lessen security issues and inspection on NERV and the other organization."

I laid back against the fencing to retell myself what was said. Second Impact, the supposed reset of the world, was actually orchestrated by one Mankind. It was like being told Santa Claus, the jolly red-clad suited man of the North, was not real to a child that just spoke a 3 hour conversation on the good of the world. I am the child, and that mysterious organization is the adult.

**This is...quite different from what I knew before.**

Just as Ayanami was about to comment on something else, the rooftop door was abused again. A huge kick almost tore off the hinges of the door, and let in one very angry boy. in fact, that same boy I saw earlier entering the school.

"Hey! You Ikari?"

On one hand, I would like to lie. There is some killer intent in his eyes, and his cracking fist certainly supports it. However, I am an honest man for the part. Besides, Ayanami would decipher my lie for him anyway. Now who is this boy?

**I am. Can I help you with something?**

Wrong answer! The jock rushed towards me and lifted me by the collar with both hands. My feet dangled off the concrete, feeling the coming-soon air at this rate.

"You're going to pay for what you did!"

**I have no id-idea what I did! Honestly! I'm starting to choke!**

Showing mercy, he let me down. I collapsed to my knees and caught my breath, looking up at yet another assailant.

"I'm letting you off easy right now since the world needs you. However, I'm going to make sure you can barely pilot that machine!"

He swung his arm back and targeted right for my face. I prayed my good-luck reaction will come true again and closed my eyes. Impact was made, but I felt no pain or touch from the blow. Once again, the blind sight worked.

Or I'm dead, which explains the absolute numbness.

"Hey, you! No one beats up this guy but me!"

That voice sounds familiar. Murderous, venomous, aggressive...yep, it's Asuka. Has she come to my rescue as a white shining...er, what do they call female knights? Wait, 'no one beats up this guy but me'? I don't want to be beat up period!

"What's with you? Just let two men fight each other. You can mend your boyfriend afterward!"

Yet another victim of confusion.

"Wh-why you!"

The punch was crisp and loud. In a brief moment, Asuka has taken down my assailant in one blow. I guess if the enemy of my enemy is my friend, then…there's some plot twists that were missed. I brushed off the dust on my clothes and stood next to my savior.

**Hey, thanks a lot for that. I don't know what he was trying to-**

I didn't close my eyes fast enough. Her fist landed squarely between my eyes, knocking me on the ground. I imagined flashes of light, while a fiery girl dancing in a flag cape with boxing clubs circled around me in victory. I doubt even Rocky Balboa would celebrate in fashion after first TKO…then the second…exactly how many people did he beat up again?

"Ah! Shinji! Asuka, what did you do?"

Ah, the concerning vocals must belong to Hikari. The last of my thoughts before I delved into darkness…once again.

-10 Minutes later-

Here we were, waiting outside the principal's office, sitting on the bench. Asuka had first reservation with the principal, while this boy and I compared bruises on our faces. Yes, I somehow got entangled and blamed on part of this. That's the way karma works, although I wonder what bug did I step on to deserve this?

I decided to take this time and try to amend…whatever that started all this.

**So, here we are.**

"Shut up. This is all your fault."

**Relatively speaking, I still have no idea what's going on.**

"You want me to spell it out for you?"

**Please do. If I'm going to be punched, mauled, abused, or all of the above, I at least want a purpose to it.**

He sighed and brushed past his hair. back and forth. Another sigh followed. Was it really that bad?

"I was supposed to be the pilot of Evangelion 01. I went through years of training and synchronization tests for that upcoming battle. Then, you showed up, got an incredible natural score, and took the job instead. The money was going to help out my family, too."

I suddenly felt apathy. I was always afraid that I took a better qualified person's opportunity to save the world, but my fluke became mainstay instead of his hard work. Not only that, but to simply drop the guy's time and effort instead of say, a back-up pilot. NERV has really curved away from my likable list thus far.

So I did the only thing I can do. Look on the bright side.

**Hey, at least the world is still alive for your family. I've learned that NERV has really crappy payrolls to save the world. 100,000 yen per month isn't that much to support a family, no offense.**

He lifted his head from his hands, and gave me a curious look. Did I succeed?

"100,000 yen? Is that what they're paying you? I was contracted a million yen every month."

My jaw dropped. I stood up, either from intense anger or delusional shock. Probably a mixture of both and one other emotion. I was _really_ pushed to the limit now.

"What's wrong with you?"

**I have been ripped. That lousy no-good father of mine!**

"Wait, are you serious? You only get paid 100,000 yen a month? That's a total rip! And you have a higher synch ratio than mine!"

**I _knew_ in the back of my head, he was a snake. I didn't realize he was a cheapskate, too! **

In an unconventional twist, this boy and I have become allies against one man: the cheapest man in the world. If I didn't have to wait for Asuka to stop harassing the principal, I would walk right to NERV and demand my remaining paycheck.

"Touji! Where are you, big brother!"

I snapped out of my furious mood, and noticed a little girl running up to us. She was very small, and her little pony-tailed hair was the same shade as the boy's. Touji must be the one that assaulted/berated/allied with me. At least my enemy/ally has a name now.

"Hey, Mari. What are you doing here?"

His expression became gentler when speaking to his sister. He picked her up under the arms, and mimicked a rocket launch while lifting her high. I could tell he cared deeply for his sibling like a father to his tiny daughter.

"Daddy sent me here to pick you up. I got a note and everything in my dress pocket to release you!"

His face faulted a bit, but still managed to gently put her down.

"Mari, I'm not in jail you know. I just got in a little scuffle."

"That's a lot of bruises for a 'little scuffle.' Was it this mister?"

**Who, me? I'm not a 'mister'. That's for old people. And no, I didn't fight your big brother.**

"Then who did, mister?"

We both glanced each other, and used the ancient language of mankind lost in sophistication. It is only to be used in desperate times in desperate measures, when little to no other communication is possible. The absolute last action we can do to save our male pride.

Mainly, we grunted back and forth.

'Make up something! We did not get owned by a girl!'

'**Maybe we can say it was a devil. It's not _that_ hard to convince!'**

'Yeah, that's it! A devil came out of the sky and assaulted us in a hell blaze!'

'**Yes! Wait, no…why would the devil come out of the sky? Wouldn't that be from the ground?'**

'But we were on the roof. Can the devil climb stairs?'

"You guys sound like piggies! Hehehe!"

By sacrificing a tiny bit of pride to the giggling girl, we have kept the secret of woman-beats to ourselves. Safe!

Then the door kicked open. Poor doors.

"All right, that was stupid! You guys get in next. The principal apparently wants to know your side of the story on why I beat you up."

Failed, failed primal instincts.

"You guys got beat up by a girl?"

-40 Minutes later-

Lunchtime. Yes, amazingly enough we were all still in this school. With our simple truce prior to the meeting, we were let off with a warning while Asuka received two warnings for assault and battery. Needless to say, we are avoiding her for the next…year or so. In other pleasant news, Hikari has made friends with the girl, hopefully giving a calming aura to neutralize all that rage elsewhere besides our faces.

Kensuke and Touji has been good friends for many years, allowing me into their duo. There was some scary moments when the otaku found out I was Touji's replacement, bombarding me with questions about the Evangelion's work-force and mechanics.

**Classified information.**

At least I learned something useful from Ayanami.

"Aw, come on! Can't you give me a little spec of detail?"

We sat on the rooftop for lunch, surrounding ourselves with badly-made lunches and one store lunchbox meal. I'm not taking any chances with Misato. Survival is a 24-7 job.

"Would you shut it, Kensuke? I barely told you anything when I was working for NERV, and Shinji sure as hell won't budge in info as the pilot."

"But that Asuka girl sure didn't keep in the secrets."

Touji then remembered the beginning of this incident.

"Oh, right. What's with that girl anyway? She says she's a pilot…."

**She's the Second Child, apparently. She has her own Evangelion unit, I think. **

"That crazy skank a pilot? Man, this world's in trouble with her as a savior. I thought it was bad enough when I walked into the room with Kensuke getting murdered."

I too, am a pilot. However, I predict that she will be a more troublesome enemy to deal with than an Angel. All that money spent to defend the Earth against giant invaders, and they end up training a deadlier threat. This sounds familiar somehow….

**I remember that you came in late. Mind explaining?**

"I actually came back from NERV, telling me I was off. I got real pissed that someone named Shinji Ikari got the job instead and…the rest happened. Sorry, man."

**It's all right. Sorry about your family, though.**

H rested his head on the floor, and closed his eyes.

"Nah, I can get a job somewhere. I might as well try to be a normal guy instead. It would've been a lot better if I didn't waste my time three years ago."

Three years ago? Is that when his training started? This might be a long shot but something's not right.

**Do you remember when you were asked to start for NERV?**

"Uh, that's really specific. I can give you a month, I think. Was it September?"

"Definitely October. I remember because you skipped out on the costume party early."

**Hmm…**

"What with you, Shinj? Why'd you ask about three years ago?"

**It might coincidence, or isn't but…three years ago, I was in a pretty deep comma in the hospital. It was only for a couple of hours, but everything felt changed even if nothing did. It was strange.**

"Wha? I don't get it. What does that mean?"

**I don't exactly know but…it was like I entered a completely different world.**

"Maybe a dimensional jumper! I think those are…called Sliders!"

"Man, that sounds so dumb Kensuke!"

While the two friends played a game of 'bop the dork,', Ayanami silently walked up behind us with that ever-glazing stare of hers. I don't know whether they're lucid or deeply in thought.

**Is something the matter, Ayanami? **

"The fourth Angel has arrived."

Time to save the world again. And this time, I'll remember it so I can gloat it to Kensuke.

Man, I'm a dork.


	5. Chapter 5

Another one of NERV's ingenious and subtle planning, the school was a short sprint away from an entrance. Well when one starts a plan to change the world via apocalypse, a simple thing like location, location, location shouldn't be too hard to manipulate. Besides the three Children, all other citizens of Tokyo were evacuated in preparation for the fourth Angel's arrival.

If that's not a warning that things will go destructive, I don't know what is.

I'll send my condolences to the Society of Doors after today, as Asuka has started beating up the vault door to the hanger before Ayanami inserted the necessary ID card to open it. The foreign pilot, I suspect, are one of those people that would wear the "My anger management classes piss me off!" shirts. That would also fall under "I get fat in fitness class," "We drink too much in Alcoholics Anonymous" and "Loli-con day for pedophile-correction facilities."

What strange ideas I think of during a crisis.

"Move it, idiot! NERV is waiting for us!"

**Coming!**

-NERV Hanger 01-

Back in the saddle, so to say. Or the tube if you want to be more specific. I now have to wear a ridiculous skintight pilot suit that 'promotes' my efficiency to synchronize with the Eva. More like promoting the awkwardness of the situation. Shouldn't I be wearing helmet, too?

Misato chirped in on my view screen.

"Welcome to the NERV Headquarters Knock-out center! Are you ready?"

The NHK? Well, this place might as well be a conspiracy.

**This is Unit 01, ready for launch.**

Asuka pushed the captain aside.

"You better not mess up, idiot! If you screw up and survive, I'll kill you after this.

So I die either way. Sigh…I need a bigger paycheck for this. What's the point of the Second Child if her unit isn't available? Motivation for suicide? Touji would get a bigger pay than me, then.

Misato returned with a vengeance on the girl. It was a tug of war for my attention, apparently.

"Just relax and focus. You can do it again."

I don't remember 'again,' but all right. I nodded to affirm.

"Launch Eva unit 01!"

God, I hate this part. G-Force, I hate you so much!

-Near Tokyo city limits-

I arrived through the intricate tunnels NERV laid out to appear at any area in Tokyo. I just wish they would lower the speed to mach 1 at least. So here I am, with an assault rifle, to fight the fourth Angel. It was a silvery skin shade with a mushroom-like body. Well, training should pay off. Point and shoot, easier job.

I aimed my assault rifle and loaded off a 3-second barrage of continuous fire. The overlapping impacts created a fog of smoke surrounding the target. As my clip emptied out and landed on the ground, I kept my stance and awaiting the next move.

There was nothing, not a single sound for 3 minutes and counting. Bulls-eye.

Then a large tentacle out from the smoke lashed out and knocked me off my feet.

**Okay, I really wish I'm debriefed on the tentacles. Or…something at least!**

Misato clicked in on the radio.

"Uh, didn't think that was important."

Oh yes, knowing the weapons and capabilities of the enemy is totally unimportant. Let's pretend I'm a Super Robot with a rocket punch. Or my Super Eye Laser of Justice. When do I shout out my attacks again?

**Fine, I'll work something out.**

I loaded another clip and cocked the weapon, ready for more action. Unfortunately, the Angel didn't like the first attack and whipped out its tentacle to cut my gun in half. Why does everything bad happen when I improvise?

**Okay, we've established that Angels don't like guns. Now what?**

The tentacles lashed out again, which I had to quickly jump away on each strike. They were somewhat slow, so it wasn't a problem.

Until one slash hit the cable attached to my Eva unit, and a timer appeared behind me.

**Oh, come on. Where'd this timer come from?**

"That's your remaining power supply. When that runs out, you'll be immobile!"

Ever helpful Misato.

**And this little tidbit wasn't mentioned until now?**

"We…never thought it would come up."

Well guess what? It did! How does any living being not notice that cable whipping behind me? I got improvise now…adlibbing sure is a needed talent for this.

During my self-apathy on the situation, the Angel managed to wrap its tentacles around my unit. What is this, some bad hentai flick and I'm the schoolgirl? I'm not going to yell obscene things like 'Please stop' and random yelling. Ugh, why did Kyon show me those movies again?

**Let go!**

I noticed a red core on the lower half of its body. With my right arm still free, I pummeled the object repeatedly. It was effective in momentarily stunning it, and I retreated a distance away.

Looks like the core is the weak point. Although, that's a bit obvious and clichéd. I'm not about to complain on easy targets, though.

Then I checked behind me and noticed the time: 1:32. That's just great. I can't beat this thing in that time!

**Misato, give me something. Any idea would help!**

"Use your progressive knife!"

My what? Oh, the shoulder the knife. I activated the function that propped open a small cache containing a knife, located on my right shoulder. I'm not big on melee combat so this might get tricky.

"Take the battle outside of the city. We'll give you cover there!"

I complied, and used hit-and-run tactics to bait the Angel to the hill area outside. The usual slash-and-run-away-like-hell tactics, that is. Either the Angel was very dumb to follow this obvious plan, or figuring out the plan to set my demise.

I hate smart aliens.

"Shinji, you have 51 seconds left! Hurry and get to the rendezvous!"

I managed this feat somehow and stopped on the tallest hill, which was still like a mole hill. The Angel followed behind, unusually predictable. That's the power of NERV to you. Can they predict which lunch I want tomorrow? Maybe if I ask nicely enough….

"Watch your footing! There's civilians behind you!"

What did she say? There shouldn't be any people within a 50-mile radius here. What suicidal maniacs decided to watch two behemoths fight to a destructive end?

Oh, it's Touji and Kensuke. Why am I not surprised?

**So what do I do? Just watch them get vaporized?**

"Right now, taking down the Angel is more important. 47 seconds left!"

This is bothersome. I really don't need anymore on my conscious now. I probably broke a thousand or so rules, but I crouched down to my cowering classmates and placed them in my pilot tube.

**You guys can breathe in here. **

Told shortly after they attempted to hold their breaths for infinite. Kensuke followed up with an explanation, much to my relief to save time.

"I just wanted to take pictures for my website."

**Well, I hear works are worth more after the artist dies. **

"I don't want to die!"

**I'd be scared if you did. Right now, we might meet the reaper.**

Touji questioned me, of course. The logical ones always do.

"Wait, what? Don't you have enough training by now?"

**Yes, enough training to beat it if I had significant power left. Right now, we're going to die in 20 seconds.**

"20 seconds?! Why aren't you doing anything?"

**Wait a minute. How come _you_ were informed about the power supply but not me?**

"Never mind that. Just do _something!"_

**What would you like me to do? Throw an innocent school girl at that thing…Kensuke, why is your nose bleeding in here? That's our oxygen you're polluting. **

"Think, man! Did you find a weak point yet?"

**Uh, the red core thing.**

"Then shove the progressive knife into it!"

Oh. Well, that sounds obvious now that I think about it.

**Here goes! **

-The Next Day-

"And that's it for announcements. You have 20 minutes until your first class starts."

And so ends another meaningful lecture from our homeroom teacher. I guess Mankind has adapted to apocalyptic scenarios long enough, considering we still have school today. Certainly I deserve the rights to sleep in school, right? Or at least make Misato stop driving me to school. I think her casualty rate is higher than my next 7 Angel fights.

Oh, by the way. I won the fight.

"Yo, Shinji. Still alive?" 

I slumped my head on my desk, a response to most questions today.

**Physically, yes. Mentally scarred otherwise, Touji.**

"Angel fight?"

**The Terror of Misato.**

"Ah. Well, how did NERV treat you yesterday? You…didn't get into major trouble, did you?"

**According to the brass, I conducted 14 misconducts that could get me executed, maimed, and whatnot. However, I managed to convince them that without your help, we would all be dead. In fact, you are now a back-up pilot to unit 01.**

Any cheering or gratefulness from the jock was subsided, thanks to yet another door savagely opened by Asuka. (Donation: 2,000 yen thus far) The class quieted down momentarily for possible attacks, but the chatter continued regardless. She stormed in between us and sat herself down behind me. Unconsciously and foolishly, I raised my head and turned to the fuming girl.

**What's wrong now?**

She grunted and snapped her head to the window in disgust. I guess her Visit to the Office part 2 didn't go so well. We must have some focused principal to keep his punishments in order after near catastrophe.

"That idiot principal is annoying. He kept talking on and on about my attitude blamed on the society of the world. 'It is a natural reaction to act irrational when in a new country with no friends.' What kind of bull is that? It's not like I wanted to be here!"

So I've heard. I guess he wasn't informed about the four Eva pilots sitting in this room right now.

" 'And so, I think that should be in an after-school program or club to help familiarize yourself with the school.' Do I have to spell it out for him that I have a very important job to do, besides this stupid school? Geez, why do we have to keep our job a secret?"

A club, huh. I'm guessing solitude wouldn't be an available program for my fleeing hopes. Although I'm sure Asuka can tear a straight-jacket into pieces. Hmm, that's a bit too mean even for her. She deserves a chance to make more friends, and see Japan for what it's worth. If the principal is right, this is nothing more than a self-defense mechanism in response to a new environment.

"What you nodding your head for, idiot?"

**Nothing at all. So, what club are you going to join?**

"None at all. Like I said, this school is boring. There's nothing to do, and the mildly interesting ones are useless, wannabes, or distracting."

You've been here for how long? Were you checking out the school's programs in advance, while I tangoed with the tentacles of doom? Your priorities need to be reorganized for the time being.

Luckily, the sight-soothing Horaki came to our melancholy atmosphere. I have really appreciated her short-but-helpful presence these two days. It doesn't hurt that she is currently a top-ranker in 'cute girls' according to groups of boys I overhead earlier. Ah, maybe the school life wouldn't be so bad after all.

"You know, Asuka. You don't have to join an existing organization. If you talk with the student council, they can approve a student's own club. Here, I have a spare club sheet you can use."

She placed on Asuka's desk a slip of paper that read 'Club Registration.' If I can go back to the past, I would realize that _now_ is the time to burn that paper. The one act that would save me from endless agony and pain.

"Hey, not a bad idea! I'll make my own club! That doesn't sound like a bad idea, Hikari! I wonder what should I call it?"

The 'I want to be beaten into a German pulp', of course! That is both honest, and anyone joins is a masochist of the extreme! Asuka in charge of club is a scary thought indeed.

"Any ideas, idiots?"

Yes, insulting us then asking for ideas is the way to go. 10 gold stars to your instructor, who is probably laying and forgotten in a ditch by now.

Then Ayanami entered the classroom, nonchalant as always. If Asuka is everything that goes out, she is everything that stays in. Not a word to me nor anyone else I know of yesterday. It was like she was simply there.

**Welcome, Ayanami. Did you just wake up?  
**

She sat down behind Asuka, the Eva row as I dubbed it.

"NERV has just released me. I cannot tell."

**More secret higher-up information, eh? I guess I can't pry any further. **

She nodded. It wasn't a cold response, in fact I felt a slight friendliness from it. Too bad her hobbies other than reacting to humans is to read a book. That might be her human side, if I remember what she said before. I'm starting to lose interest on what her non-human part is, anyways, since at this rate I would have to rule NERV to get all the info.

"Forget her. Anyways, I still need a name for my new club."

Touji decided to brave in first. "How about 'The German's club?' That gives a whole fancy feeling."

"That gives too much credit to Germans, you idiot! I want a name that defines that I'm running it."

What a _tiny _ego you have there. Nope, not selfish at all.

Hikari decided the next suggestion.

"Then, would "Asuka's Club" work?"

"Too simple. That would make it like I made this just to get away from the other organizations." 

Didn't you? I'm pretty sure your last rambling mentioned the dislike of this school and the principal. I decided, out of insanity or other mental disorder, to help in the naming process. Maybe I wanted to stop this and get my turn out of the way. How very mistaken I was.

"Fine. Call it the 'Soryu's Official Society Brigade' or something."

Zing. I caused the apocalypse.

"That's it! That name suits it perfectly! A right balance of proper and casual titling. Good job, lackey!"

She slammed her hands on her desk, and had a 'Eureka!' expression in her eyes. I could see her eyes calculation future plans and troubles I foresee myself. Why didn't I keep my mouth shut?

Wait, lackey? Did I miss something?

**Why'd you call me your lackey?**

She puffed and went right into my face.

"Isn't it obvious? You're going to be part of the brigade. You came up with the name, and now you're in charge to make sure it runs properly. Got it?"

**Hold on. I'm not agreeing to this at all. Wouldn't this coincide with our work?**

"I got the same job as you, too! This will be open everyday except on the fight days. Just shut up and comply."

The class rep chimed in, possibly saving me from this sudden disaster.

"But Asuka, you need at least 4 members to start a club. It can't just be you and Shinji."

"Hmm, that's a problem indeed."

Has an obstacle finally appeared to stop this rampage? Thank you, Miss Horaki, for saving my life.

Asuka pondered on it for a moment. Suddenly, her eyes brightened up again. Stop doing that!

"Then you join, too Hikari! You don't have anything after school, do you?"

"What? N-no, but I…"

"Then it's settled. That's three members so far. Let's see, who else?"

Touji ran away before she could finish the sentence. Why can't I be that smart?

Her eyes wandered the classroom for new victims. Will she really just pick anyone just to start this club? If it is truly a random drawing, then it would be a terrible lot. Even worse than an army draft. At least they volunteer for sacrificing their lives.

Her eyes locked on a target. The quiet, non-existent girl doing nothing more than reading a large, thick book.

"Then Rei will also be in the club. That's that! We got four! Let's go to the student council!"

The fiery redhead pushed along Horaki to ambush the council with her proposal. What I fear and probably know, is that they will succumb to her 'negotiations' and okay the idea. I thought about witnessing the finalization of my slavery to her, but slumped my head on the desk again. I need the rest, and I certainly deserve it.

After all, this will be my last day as a free man before I join her club.

The SOS Brigade.

Preview for the next episode:

Asuka: Hey, now that the club is complete, it needs another guy! Not a wimp like you.

Shinji: I am merely a lacky, as you say. A tired one, at that. Leave me alone.

Asuka: Anyways, we need someone cool and suave, like a transfer student.

Shinji: A transfer student? What kind of person would move into a city proven to be visited by invaders?

Transfer Student: Hello, there.

Shinji: Oh god. Wait, what's with the white hair?


	6. Chapter 6

What a surprise. I was right on the bad thing once again.

The student council legalized the SOS brigade very fast, as if was a pre-determined event. With a smile on her face, Asuka re-entered the classroom and slammed the accursed sheet of paper. On it, the president's stamp of approval annoyingly stared back at me.

I know who to blame for my misery's official start.

"That was no problem at all! I could've started another two or three clubs at that rate."

She boasted over the process of her club's birth.

Affiliates of SOS? That world was already threatened by Angels. Please don't add the League of Asuka to the list. I can only hope that the Angels will attack everyday, just to distract her focus on me. I feel responsible somehow for Horaki and Ayanami being involved in this mess. Well, Horaki at least. I think the latter is still unaware she became associated with the brigade, judging by her behavior staying the same. Or maybe that's her reaction to everything, which is nothing.

**So what exactly do we have to do? Surely we need a headquarters of sorts.**

Once again, she turned to the window for inspiration. My desire to shatter that piece of glass was high, but there was doubt that act will stop her train of thoughts. Why can't things be as simple as that?

"It has to be empty, right?"

Yes, stealing is a crime. Kicking out members is worse. Wait, the council approved the brigade without knowledge of the location? How threatened did they feel?

Horaki chirped in some information.

"I heard the manga club is separating soon due to the council's advice. 'It's nothing more than a hang-out', according to the president. Their room is on the second floor, 204."

Why, Horaki? Why did you betray our safety? Is it because Asuka is your friend? How did someone as sweet and kind as you, become tangled in the clutches of her evil aura? It must be her great and powerful influence that corrupted her. There's no other possible explanation.

That I would accept.

"Perfect! We'll take that, then! All right, lackeys. We start our first meeting tomorrow in room 204. Dismiss!"

What was this then? The pre-meeting to the meeting? It seems the only thing official we'll be entitled to is the seal.

This is some dream, right? No, the correct term would be nightmare. Let me wake up to that unfamiliar ceiling!

-After School-

My feet dragged across the pavement, as I still felt the weight of my newly installed chains. The chains from Asuka's constant demands for tomorrow's meeting. They included a tablecloth, a dust pan, and some window cleaner tools. Why can't we just ask the manga members to tidy up after their leave?

I wonder if she'll keep the club open after all the Angels are defeated. Would she return to Germany and that's it? Or will she like Japan so much she'll stay and keep this demonized brigade until I die under the agony? Every bad thing always seem to point to my demise.

However, my luxury of deep thought was cut short as I arrived to my apartment. Due to some NERV working and briefing, I ended up coming at nearly dinner time. What I expected past the door was a hungry Misato.

When I opened the door, the demon herself was sitting at the dinner table, too.

"What took you so long? I'm starving here!"

The intruder sat opposite of Misato, both with ready utensils and anticipation of dinner. Exactly when am I the designated cook? Can I resign my post now that we have a new resident with potential?

"Oh, and don't even bother asking me to cook. Misato said she's a better cook than me."

Never mind. I like to live, thank you very much.

**Why is there another mouth to feed again?**

All these changes keep happening without my consent or knowledge. Must I request a notice sign?

Misato pointed at me with her fork.

"Another thing I forgot. Asuka's officially moving in with us. The papers were finalized for your new roommate."

Again with 'official.' That word is going on my top 10 hated list, right between 'Angel' and 'tight suit.' And what did I require for my move-in? There was the lying to Dr. Akagi, but little beyond that. Please tell me there's a restraining order packaged with her papers.

Any of the above said out loud would put my life in danger, obviously.

**So what's today's feast of?**

I continued this merrid illusion of calmness.

"Barbeque Ribs!"

Always the impossible with you, Asuka.

"I can't make something that doesn't exist."

"Meat exists here."

**Asking for a caviar sandwich stuffed with the finest sushi would be cheaper and easier to find. You have asked in the wrong country. A comparison would be asking for non-alcoholic beer during Oktoberfest.**

She slapped the table, her eyes fiery and full of doom. What? You expected happy unicorns flying with signs of peace? Maybe if they were burning unicorns...

"Real men would gladly take a side-trap to fulfill a woman's desire."

**Sorry, but I'll pass on the journey of manhood for a meat lover.**

Asuka crossed her arms in disapproval.

"Hmph! Fine, then. Your food has to be 5-star class, no exceptions!"

With a reluctant 'huzzah,' I began what little show of a cook I am. My apron was equipped, the sleeves were rolled, and the pan wares sharpened for the boss. The side-quest has begun.

-After much disaster-

Despite attempts of help from the women, the dinner was prepared. Misato's meal was a simple miso-covered tuna with a mix of lemon and tarter sauce. To distract her jealousy from Asuka's meal, I carefully placed two Yebisu bears on each side of the plate. Hopefully that will 'add' to the flavor.

On the other hand, the new resident had no such weakness. My survival would be decided solely on taste. Her first plate contained my special cheese soup, filled with broth meat and various vegetables. Accompanying after was a Takeshi steak, dressed in my special blend of wasabi dressing, and Yamato sauce giving it a sweet but hot taste.

She took the first bite with hesitation, and chewed the steak thoroughly. She's a terrible cook, but has no problem as a food critic? This situation is full of contradictions.

**Good enough for the mistress?**

"Shut up."

Surprisingly, nothing followed after that. Asuka continued eating my work, allowing me to keep existing for now. Is there anything that doesn't threaten me, anyway? I feel life insurance would only pay for the first 17 attempts.

After dinner, the three of us were done. Stuffed, overworked, and tired. Only two of these apply to them. Put 'all of the above' for me.

"Thank you for the meal! Yaus!"

The usual victory over her empty can aside, we have survived our first dinner together. Now arrives the matters of other topics, concerning our new roommates.

**Where is Asuka sleeping in?**

Our guardian rubbed her chain in deep thought? Is it really that hard? There's only 3 open rooms.

"Well, she can't sleep in my room. It's only big for one."

**Don't you have the master bedroom?**

"Yeah, but there's a lot of…stuff."

You've been here less than two weeks. How much of this 'stuff' has accumulated before my arrival? Is there a third and fourth cargo of beer hiding in your room? That would explain her constant hang-over every morning.

Wait, I've been driven by a drunk every morning? Where's Block 6 when I need it?

Asuka drove us back to the point.

"Jeez, how many rooms are there in this apartment?"

Misato counted off with her fingers. "There's three all together, but the last one is more like a closet than an actual room."

"Then I get the other room."

**Hold it. There's an occupant already there. That's me.**

She flipped her hair in defiance. "So what? You're a man. It's a privilege to let a woman like me, residing in your former room."

It feels more like a curse, in my opinion. Exactly why are we even having this discussion? My room is not for vacancy, now and forever. I got here second (well third, if you count the penguin) and my rights as second/third string is higher than yours.

"Hmm, how about we decide this with rock, paper, scissors?"

I became horrified. The one game that is un-winnable against females, I have a higher chance than Dr. Akagi's estimate on my first synchronization. Why that game, of all games Misato?

"All right, we'll decide this on 3. Ready? 1...2...3!"

-Next Morning-

"Ah, Shinji! Are you all right? What's wrong with your back?"

On the next day in homeroom, Horaki was concerned about my unusual back spasms. In this society, it is not normal for a male under 20 years old to hold their back at every step. That was my case as a result from sleeping in room number 3.

Yes, I lost in that blasted hand game once again. The room is extremely tiny, barely able to fit in my futon bed and desk. My other belongings might as well be AWOL. Even the penguin's room is a paradise compared to my own. At least I can ice my back in there.

**No need to worry yourself, class rep. There was just a game last night, and I suffered the penalty.**

"That's good."

She breathed a sigh of relief. Her face gave an angelic aura that seemed to lessen, even heal, my wounds of battle from last night. If there was a girl to fall in love with on first sight, it would be this girl! Someone that is compassionate, responsible, and cute. Unlike some other-

"Hey, slacker! You left me behind!"

And there goes my back! Why of all places did she slap my back! I weakly collapsed on top of my desk, laying on the wooden surface defeated and conquered.

"What's with you? My lackeys aren't this weak and pathetic."

I'm sure if you owned any slaves, they would have better living conditions than me. Did you not remember the 23 minutes it took to ravage out of that new room of mine? The reason why we were late to school in the first place? Well, I was late. You left me behind, enabling Misato's need to help and drive me to school. Will the cops get over their fear of NERV and help the innocent already?

**Besides my massive countdown to decomposition, what do you want?**

She passed my body, totally ignoring my condition.

"Anyways, we're going to visit our new headquarters after homeroom. I already sent the First Child for recon on the status of the room. She'll clear the way for us to make our job easier."

Oh, _now_ you're helping us lowly mortals? Thank you for the offer, but your organization skills would make Misato God in comparison. And that's really bad.

"Onward to headquarters!"

She pointed to the exit with pride.

I looked at the exit with despair.

-The room-

We arrived before room 204, with a mix of anticipation and excitement. For once, Asuka used the doorknob to open the way, revealing a very…

…bare room.

"What the heck?! There's nothing in here but a table and drapes! Those manga guys really cleaned house!"

Of course they did, you fool. Did you really expect dedicated comic book readers to simply leave their sweat and blood of collecting material for new occupants? The only thing that really surprises me, is how fast they picked up their belongings. It's only been a day.

Horaki took the first step in and greeted Ayanami, who sat near the window reading the same book as before. She waved a hand to her, which was duly ignored. Maybe she didn't notice us coming in. She rarely notices anything else, too.

**Yo, Ayanami. Was the place like this when you got here?**

She lifted her head to me and nodded.

**Then…that's all there is?**

Another nod from her. Would you please say a word once in a while? It's like I'm speaking to a lifeless doll, or a mute ghost! What a strange girl she is. Then again, she was raised by my father, who isn't exactly Mr. Leave it to Beaver himself. Or from what I heard. It was like I was traded for this very girl. Did my father really wanted a daughter instead that much?

There are worse fates, like I could be the daughter….

"Hmm, this is annoying. We're going to have to get more stuff for this place, like a computer and stuff. For that, we also need more people. Now that I've thought it logically, 4 people isn't enough for a brigade."

Logically? There's something logical about this? I want this pointed out right now, so I can magnify the effects and hopefully get you to follow the example.

She placed her hands on her hips, and walked around the room in a frenzied pace.

"Therefore, our top priority is to recruit another member, Ideally someone new like a transfer student, so we can mold his experience to fit into ours. It doesn't hurt that he's mysterious and handsome, to attract the females and draw them into our organization. However, those type of girls that are fooled so easily cannot be part of the brigade. That kind of weakness can easily be manipulated by our enemies and rival clubs."

I shook my head, and slapped against my right ear. Exactly what did I hear besides absolute babble? Our enemies? Rivals? WHO are these people you are paranoid about?

**Where are going to get this 'mysterious transfer student' in this day and age? Tokyo isn't exactly the welcoming mat, with Angels and giant robots fighting each other in the back round. In fact, it'd be a completely illogical move for anyone with all their marbles to get closer this danger! Am I right, Miss Horaki?**

She tilted her head towards me, a sign of disagreement.

"Actually, I hear class 1-D has a new student that arrived today. His name is Kaworu-"

"Bye-bye! I'll get the new guy! You stay here!"

In a flash, four became three. Things are always changing, aren't they?

Horaki and I picked the foldable chairs from the window walls, and waited patiently for our leader's return. Despite myself in the presence of such radiance, my adolescent patience kicked in. My eyes wandered around the empty, wooden room for some kind of distraction from my foot tapping and Ayanami's eerily consistent page-turning.

"Shinji, are you bored?"

**Hmm? Eh, honestly yes.**

Her eyes drooped and stared at her fidgeting fingers.

"Sorry. I'm not much of an entertainer."

**Oh! Uh, no! It's not you, it's my darn boy attention span. I get bored even during a circus show! Ha ha ha ha!**

Her expressions relaxed as I said this.

Even if I sound like a massive baboon, Horaki's feelings undamaged are what's important. I would feel ashamed if she ever feels the lonely strings of sadness' tunes. I will protect her heart from pure evil and other foreign entities that would corrupt her good nature!

"I'm back, and with a new member!"

Like evil right now! Begone, you red-haired demon! Wait, new guy? Don't tell me this transfer student actually exists!

The door busted open (again?!) with aforementioned leader of our brigade and…this other guy. She casually strolled into the room with her left arm tugging the sleeve of the new sacrificial lamb.

"As Hikari mentioned, this guy is the new transfer student from class 1-D…."

Asuka gave him the 'your cue' look.

"Kaworu Nagisa, at your service."

He had a skinny frame with pale skin, that could give Ayanami a run for her money. His eyes were also red, and his hair unnaturally white. His smile gave off an odd warm feeling, considering the rest looked as though he arrived from the frosty alps for 3 weeks. This guy can definitely swoon a legion of girls if he felt like it.

"This is the SOS Brigade. I'm Asuka Soryu, the leader and founder of the club. This is Hikari Horaki, Accountant and Lackey. You're Lackey number 2, got it?"

Is that how you meet people for the first time!? The name you mentioned was Hikari, although rightfully so, and no one else! And I am not a lackey!

"Of course! This club looks very interesting indeed. The school is very friendly compared to my other school."

For this school to be friendlier, you must've came from one that constantly hanged your clothes in the rain, beat you up every period, and/or announce your worst fears on every corner. Also, how is this place interesting? There's nothing in here but me and the girls!

Wait, he can't joining because of them….

"So what does this SOS Brigade do?"

He smiled kindly to me for an answer.

I'm at a blank. Besides some unusual chain of events that involved the principal and Asuka's temper, the origin and function of this club's intent fathoms me. Exactly what are we here for, besides fulfilling that so-called 'friendly' interaction required for the new student from Germany?

"Well, our goal here is…."

And so Asuka unveiled the real purpose of this club.

"To make this the best club in the school!"

"..."

"I see."

"Oh wow. That's really cool, Asuka!"

Oh look, marbles. There they go.


	7. Chapter 7

My reaction to her goal was less than satisfactory. Did I just suffer a thousand years worth of pain of suffering, just to redefine this unknown club as the best?

There has to be better use of my times.

**Please tell me you're kidding.**

Asuka gave me the look of oblivious shock. It was as if I stated that chocolates have mysteriously stopped being delicious.

"What are you talking about? I want this club to be the best!"

**But you just complained yesterday that Japan was terrible!**

She scoffed at me.

"Maybe a little unsophisticated, but it is a good place to get help on club building."

Unbelievable. The very person that would leave this country at the next chance decides to pool all of us for this purpose. For a girl that trained under NERV for years, she is very inefficient.

Horaki seeks out the expansion and legality of the club.

Ayanami would be scouting.

This new transfer student would be the bait. For what, I don't know.

What am I, the roadie? Oh right, I live with her. I'm also her personal slave.

Speaking of which, I turned to Kaworu who looked like he just heard there are desks in classrooms. Does he not think anything is _strange_ with her declaration?

**Hey, Kaworu. Aren't you going to say anything about this? **

"About what? I find her goal perfectly reachable and…it sounds fun."

**I'm talking about the fact that she kidnapped you for such an obscene reason.**

Our great leader huffed at the accusation.

"Hmph! I didn't kidnap him. I merely borrowed his being from the teacher."

**Are you planning to give him back?**

"Nope."

**Then that's kidnapping!**

She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. Anyways, we got to start shopping to spruce up the place. Hikari, start a list for me!"

Horaki fumbled for a notebook in her bag, and started jotting down the items Asuka spat out. Besides normal things like lamps, window drapes, and more chairs, she also decided the room needed a computer, game console, and plasma TV. Exactly how much more is she getting paid than me?

Meanwhile, I felt a nudge behind me coming from Kaworu. He whispered to me:

"We need to talk something private, if you don't mind."

Out loud, he declared:

"While you continue your venture, may Shinji give me the tour of the school?"

Asuka took a liking to the idea.

"Good job, Shinji! While you're out there, map out the school grounds for a later project I have. You better not forget!"

She waved us out of the room before continuing her pre-shopping spree.

Map of the school grounds? Are we invading the building during the night? Wait, this is her I'm talking about. It's anything but logical.

Kaworu scanned the hallway for people, and then after satisfied with an all-clear, led me to the courtyard. It was a colorful place with lots of healthy bushes and trees, surrounding the many stone tables and granite stool chair that littered across the grass.

I sat down, he sat down. I wonder what he needed us to be alone for.

"Thank you for cooperating. I am taking a guess that you are questioning my motives."

**Uh…sure.**

"Well, then. I would like to start that I know you work for NERV. More specifically, you are the pilot for Evangelion Unit 01."

The power of the internet is strong in this one. Wait a minute; NERV isn't that sloppy in secrecy. How does he know that, then?

"The only thing I will say is that my organization is far higher level than yours. Therefore, I would know more than you on most work-related things."

That's about as reassuring as an executioner saying he knows how to tie a knot.

"Do you want to test me?"

**I'm not sure. I might accidentally spill some information.**

He gave me an enigmatic smile.

"Do not worry. You can just declare a name and I will fill in the gap."

I took some thought in my first choice.

**Me. Origin and history.**

"Shinji Ikari. 14 years old. Left by one Gendo Ikari at the age of 5, raised by his uncle Kyon, then returned to Tokyo for a 40 percent salary cut compared to the other pilots."

**40 percent?! What's he doing with the rest of my money?!**

"Oh…maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that."

After a minute of fuming at what turned to be a continuing joke of my salary, Kaworu started up my life story once again.

**Actually, that's enough. I see you have enough information. So why did you bring me here?**

"I want to discuss about your…co-workers."

**Ayanmi and Asuka? What about them?**

He fingered a swirl on the table.

"My organization has ordered me to keep close watch on those two girls. Why and for how long, I cannot say. What I can inform you is that you will not be harmed."

That's all fine and dandy, but that leaves the obvious suspicion that the girls will be harmed instead. Exactly what was so important about Asuka anyway? They can just request her transfer from NERV, unless they don't want NERV finding out.

**Does my father know this?**

His eyes peeked at the nearby trees, and then returned to my attention.

"His agents from Section 2 are monitoring and recording this very conversation. However, it is of little consequence and a futile effort."

**So that means he does know?**

He shook his head.

"There were precautions taken so that any outside influence will not make it to the leader of NERV. Do not worry, we are safe."

That doesn't exactly make me feel any less anxious. There are secret agents around us recording our conversation, yet you say none of it will make it back to NERV. Either the agents actually work for him, or there's way more to him than my original assumption. Both theories are less than optimal.

**How do you do that? Are there some powers in the work?**

"In a manner of speaking, yes. I am in possession of abilities that no other human being has. You could say I'm the same as Rei Ayanami."

Wait, what?

**Then you're….**

Kaworu gave me a fleeing smile.

"I am not completely human.

-Time Passes-

I climbed up the stairs to my apartment door, as I was still mentally recovering from earlier. Today was a bad day. I learned the real goal of my constant roadie-acts, the extent of Kaworu's true nature, and was tagged for a 'search party' to discover any interesting objects to add to our new headquarters tomorrow. A weekend.

School was tough enough, before. Leave me be, higher powers!

Misato welcomed me into the place with open arms and a grumbling stomach.

"Hey, Shinji! Welcome home. Where's Asuka?"

I prepared my apron in response to her natural noise, forgoing the sneaky begging she was about to inflict on me. Always the designated cook.

**She's with Horaki, shopping. She should be back in a couple of hours.**

"Mmhm okay. Say Shinji, after you make me dinner, I need you to do an errand for me."

Notice how she mentions the food first.

**Sure. What is it?**

Misato took out an ID from her jacket pocket, and placed it next to the sink.

"I forgot to give Rei her updated ID card today. Can you give it to her?"

**Yeah, sure. No problem.**

"Do you need her address?

**No need. I know where she lives.**

I opened that can of worms.

"Whaaat? How do you know where she lives?"

**I asked her.**

She nudged my backside with a foxy grin.

"Aren't we the playboy here?

**Can I get your paycheck, then?**

"Eh…give Rei the ID after you're done."

Everyone's a cheapskate.

**Fine. **

-Time Passes-

I held up the ID to my eyes, scanning what little information was printed on it. There was nothing on it that Rei didn't already tell me, although "race" did not state partly human. I craned my neck up and staring at the rusted old building, with mounds of mold and dirty surfaces decorating its appearance.

**What a lovely home this is…I'm starting to think my father is experienced in holding back salaries.**

With a deep breath, I braved to the entrance of the building and climbed up the stairs. The elevator was beyond commission; although the sign's battered "Out of Order" sign led me to believe it hasn't worked for quite a while. Up four flights of stairs, I arrived and stopped before the door marked 402.

I pressed the door bell. Nothing happened. Not the usual no-answer clause, but no sound in general. Another press resulted the same. Was her bell not working?

**Hello? Is anyone there?**

Before I attempted to knock, there were echoes of footsteps behind me.

"What are you doing here, Ikari?"

Behind me was the spooky part-human girl, Rei. Her paleness really sticks out in the middle of the night.

**Ah…see. I was told to bring you a new ID.**

I offered the card to her, she slowly took it, and read the information for clarification.

"The ID is satisfactory. You may leave now."

She walked past me and opened her door. The door was unlocked? Is the neighborhood that safe, or does she not care about stolen possessions? These are probably things I will never know.

"I need to discuss some topics to you. Would you like to come in?"

Or maybe I will.

**Is it all right? I mean…a guy with a girl…**

"Is there a problem?"

I sighed, guessing on Rei's lack of information on tact.

**No, it's fine. What will we talk about?**

She entered in her apartment, then gestured me inside. With a creek of the door closing, she said:

"We will discuss your meeting with Kaworu today."

I took off my shoes on what appeared to be a rug, but was slightly surprised at the décor of the room itself. The kitchen floor had brown dust all over, as if it was never cleaned or vacuumed once. The table itself had more dust, the room beyond was filled with random bloody bandages. No, I'm not being British. They were _really_ bloody.

**Are you sure you live…here?**

"Affirmative. This is my living quarters other than NERV. It is a suitable and acceptable place for rest."

**I'm sure it is…acceptable. I think that this place breaks a few health rules, though. Do you even eat here?**

"No. I eat in the NERV cafeteria for all available meals when I am not occupied in school."

That explains the total abandonment and care of the kitchen.

**Where do you sleep then? It can't be that bed with all those bandages, is it?**

"Affirmative. That is my sleeping quarter. The blood came from my own body, thus it cannot and will not infect me."

**I'm not talking about infection. It's just…how do you sleep like that? **

She titled her head at me with a blank expression. "Do you not find this acceptable?"

I scratched my head in finding the right answer. **Truthfully, I think this place can be tidied up. I'm sure that you have more work than me, so how about I offer to clean up?**

Rei started walking towards the far side of the table. "The cleaning is not needed. A luxury is unnecessary for my functions to operate-"

My hand grabbed her arm gently as a reaction. Why, I don't know. **It's not a luxury cleaning. It's a simple gesture from a friend. Is that acceptable?**

Although it was a moment, I saw her eyes widened at the mention of 'friend' before they reverted back.

"That will be acceptable. As a friend."

After that, we sat down on the table (I brushed off my half of dust) and discussed.

**So, you want to talk about Kaworu?**

"What was the exact information exchanged and pertained in that conversation?"

**How'd you even know we were talking instead of touring?**

"The courtyard is beyond the club's window."

Great reconnaissance there, Kaworu. You can disable/manipulate NERV agents, but your lack of direction gave in to an easy scoop by our very own club member. Or wait a minute, did he plan all this?

He's a pretty boy. It can't be that deep.

**I don't know if I should be talking about it. Of course, he didn't really tell me anything important.**

"Negative. There was one piece of information that was beyond your expectations, and thus a surprised emotion."

I see-sawed on the idea of whether to tell her or not. Then again, I doubt Kaworu cares what I tell people regardless. I'm sure his 'powers' will come into play soon enough if I blab it to say, my father.

**The only thing that got my attention was that…he said he was like you. Not all-the-way human. Pretty ridiculous, huh?**

Rei leaned back on the chair, and closed her eyes. I never seen that free of movement before.

"As I suspected. He is like me."

**Haha yeah, it's kind of nutty-**

Wait. What?


End file.
